Make no mistake, this is a landmark day in the history of The Pop Cop.
Two months ago, I made a throwaway remark on a blog post about discovering the music of The Avett Brothers in a Co-op supermarket – little did I know some very important people would be reading.
The Co-operative continually strives to find the best new music to enhance their customers’ shopping experience via their in-store Co-operative Radio, and today they have announced a unique partnership with The Pop Cop, which will see the blog rebranded The Pop Co-op.
Avril Narr, Head of Commercial Marketing at The Co-operative, explained: “We admire The Pop Cop and its relentless championing of quality music. We want to tap into that know-how by taking the songs recommended by the blog directly into the aisles of our stores.”
The Pop Cop added: “Obviously, I am well aware that commercial tie-ins sit uneasily with music fans, but I feel The Co-operative are one of the more credible supermarkets out there, especially with its attitudes towards ethical trading and carbon reduction, and I intend to invest a portion of the six-figure deal back into the Scottish music scene. And buy that Lotus Elise I’ve had my eye on.”
A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS: WHY THE CO-OPERATIVE IS YOUR ONE-STOP SHOP FOR MESSAGES
We have united fruit and veg in the same aisle to make things easier. We stock mandarin but don’t let the twisted melons put you off, you already know it’s good for you. Next to that, the apples of energy drinks will make you run like Flo-Jo. Mango and plum can also be found at the counter’s end. Or check out our fish, just over the Wall’s ice-cream section. If you’re a sea bass kid you’ll be particularly satisfied.
Carnivores should head to our butcher boy, who ships in bear bones from Texas. He’s an admirable fellow, Alex. Cornish pasties are our speciality and have even broken records. The cinnamon’s our secret ingredient. Oops, shouldn’t have revealed that – damn! Mantelpieces and galleries make perfect homes for the gillyflowers, which pop up in beautiful silver columns and will leave you in a state of reverie. Oh you dancer!
Have your exerts made you thirsty? We’ve got orange juice. Ran out of Tango in the attic? We’ve got scores of that too. If you’re in the mood for something a bit stronger, we all know the whisky works, or perhaps you fancy wine sourced from Europe. French? Wives love that type, get a flood of red down her and god help the girl! Beer? Jacket potatoes? Oh my! Low fat milk is good for those who think losing weight is a fight you can’t win. Mere salt is better than a sugar crisis. Errors are often made – just ask any pensioner or the young fathers who call to mind shopping at Co-op – but don’t be frightened. Rabbit stew and horse both make for unconventional yet tasty treats.
Our range of goods is constantly evolving. We were promised jetpacks in the 1990s but that turned out to be garbage. However, we do sell unusual items – there are TV aerials up the back which could be iffy, Biro pens, letters and even my latest novel if the son(s) and daughters are turning 13 and have homework to copy. Haha. There will be fireworks in stock later in the year. Remember, remember the 5th of November – it’s the winter tradition.
If you think you’re on Easy St, deluxe hampers are ideal for couples who want to make sparks when they make love… or fear divorce. Inside, there’s an Arab strap so the Vaseline’s probably a good idea. And a mop. At midnight, Lion Bars are a treat. If there’s not much money in the kitty, the Lion Bars can be kept next to the Boosts and Pastilles in the attic. Lights should remain switched off to keep them cool. It’s the law.
Don’t forget, the Co-op isn’t just good with food. The Co-operative Bank will look after the savings and loan requests of all our customers.